It stuck filthily in the Camel’s Stomach, that Bulls, Stags, Lions, Bears, and the like, should be armed with Horns, Teeth, and Claws, and that a Creature of his Size should be left naked and Defenceless. Upon this Thought he fell down upon his marrow-bones, and beg’d of Jupiter to give him a pair of Horns, but the Request was so ridiculous, that Jupiter, instead of horning him, order’d him to be cropt, and so punish’d him with the Loss of his Ears, which Nature had him, for being so unreasonable as to ask for Horns, that Providence had never intended him.


The Boundaries of Heaven are in such manner distributed, that every living Creature has its share; beside, that to desire Things against Nature, is effectually to blame the very Author of Nature itself.

Don't Lie To Your Mother!

  • John invited his mother over for dinner. During the meal, his mother couldn't help noticing how beautiful John's roommate was. She had long been suspicious of a relationship between John and his roommate, and this only made her more curious.
  • Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between John and the roommate than met the eye. Reading his mom's thoughts, John volunteered, "I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, Julie and I are just roommates."
  • About a week later, Julie came to John and said, "Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the beautiful silver gravy ladle. You don't suppose she took it, do you?" John said, "Well, I doubt it, but I'll write her a letter just to be sure."
  • So he sat down and wrote "Dear Mother, I'm not saying you did take a gravy ladle from my house, and I'm not saying you did not take a gravy ladle. But the fact remains that one has been missing ever since you were here for dinner."
  • Several days later, John received a letter from his mother which read: "Dear Son, I'm not saying that you do sleep with Julie, and I'm not saying that you do not sleep with Julie. But the fact remains that if she was sleeping in her own bed, she would have found the gravy ladle by now. Love, Mom."
  • Lesson of the day. Don't Lie To Your Mother.