How to Quit a Job

PRO TIP: Hire a singing crew to help to announce that you QUIT!!!

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It stuck filthily in the Camel’s Stomach, that Bulls, Stags, Lions, Bears, and the like, should be armed with Horns, Teeth, and Claws, and that a Creature of his Size should be left naked and Defenceless. Upon this Thought he fell down upon his marrow-bones, and beg’d of Jupiter to give him a pair of Horns, but the Request was so ridiculous, that Jupiter, instead of horning him, order’d him to be cropt, and so punish’d him with the Loss of his Ears, which Nature had him, for being so unreasonable as to ask for Horns, that Providence had never intended him.


The Boundaries of Heaven are in such manner distributed, that every living Creature has its share; beside, that to desire Things against Nature, is effectually to blame the very Author of Nature itself.

Don't Lie To Your Mother!
Several days later, John received a letter from his mother which read: "Dear Son, I'm not saying that you do sleep with Julie, and I'm not saying that you do not sleep with Julie. But the fact remains that if she was sleeping in her own bed, she would have found the gravy ladle by now. Love, Mom."